Child Care and Careers – Caution, Mix Carefully
I was over to The Simple Dollar reading his latest post on career choices for his family – a two parent family expecting their second child in September. It’s a tough call – deciding who will work or stay home, change jobs or even relocating completely to another area to be closer to family willing to help with child care. One comment in particular caught my eye: “You are in the lucky position of having several options. Sometimes that contributes to the problem.” That is so very true.
When we have no choice but to work, can’t possibly relocate and our income is as good as it gets – it’s simply a matter of survival. You work as you can, pay for the child care and work related expense AND suck it up. You don’t see any other options so there is less to weigh out and worry about.
I didn’t realize this until I returned to work myself. I thought I could work while the boys were in school and their father would be there when they got home from school. That plan dissolved completely. Then I found after school care for them both at their respective schools until one school said “your child isn’t ready for after school care” so I had to cut back my hours at work until I find after school care that will take him AND is within the school busing program.
With my hours cut, I feel the pinch of my insurance bill every two weeks when I get paid – $330 a pay period for family health insurance. I’ve wondered myself if it would be better if I lived closer to family that could help with the boys myself which is one option The Simple Dollar is considering. BUT…
I know from experience that it doesn’t always work the way we envision it. In my life, I’ve been told – “let me know how I can help” yet when I do get around to asking… they are busy, already committed elsewhere.
Even when someone does agree or even offers to help – thier offer is all tangled up in guilt stuff. Something like, “Sure I’ll watch the boys so you can make up the hours you’ve missed at work even though it’s my only day off this week and I’m really tired. Just how long did you expect to be gone? I need to run to the bank and pay my bills but don’t let that worry you… Do you really have to work until 6 because I promised a friend I would…”
In the end, it’s not a good way to work. I think I would have done better to have the child care lined up that fit the boys needs THEN chose work that fit what was best for that schedule. Pay is relative.
Income is based on your gross pay minus:
Federal and State Taxes
Medicare Taxes – Social Security
Insurance – Health, Life, Dental, Disability
Life Insurance
Retirement – matching plans if available through your employer
Then there is child care, gas and care maintenance plus incidentals like lunch, coffees, work wardrobe and work related expenses.
It is only after have you have subtracted all this money down to a number will you realize just how much money you are generating to pay your bills, clear your debt and build a future. That number isn’t any where close to your hourly pay or weekly salary that you negotiated at the start.
Whether you work with two incomes or one – you should always know the bottom line for your “take home” pay because THAT is the amount of money that you get to spend. The rest is already ear marked for othe people’s pockets.
Besides there are always those important intangibles like stress related to commutes, being available when your children are sick, your relationship with your spouse, being with your children when you are rested and happy instead of tired and cranky. Weighing both tangibles and intangibles while crunching the numbers AND talking every single bit of it out with your partner will be you closer to the right answer for your career and your family.
Tammy
Tags: bills, career, Child Care, Children, debt, debt-crunch, family, money, pay, work
