Money and Boundaries – Found Money and Loans
Found Money – Lack of Boundaries Maybe it’s not a lack of boundaries but I know I had to make it clear that my extra money isn’t for others to use as a cushion.
Okay – I earned some extra money which has really lightened my emotional load this month. I haven’t received the check yet but it will be here in a few days. It’s spoken for – new glasses for my 5 year old (he’s gone a month without them), heating oil (I am low!), catch up on three bills I am a month behind and the remaining will go into my “month of expenses ahead” plan so I can start paying the bills that come in with last month’s monies. I earned it. It is mine.
A friend has been spending money as it comes to him now asks for me to lend him money out of this “found” money – it’s not a big check nor a big loan BUT for me it’s a major issue because I am working on being financially responsible AND taking care of my children with the money I bring in.
Instead of saying yes – I said (point blank) “I think you have been spending money because you knew I was getting this check and figured you could ask me for a loan… that’s not how it works.” I have goals – right now it is based on need rather than wants but in the end it’s about me learning how to stick to what is important to me.
Boundaries. When money comes in – if we think of it as “found” money do we have the license to spend it anyway we want then when it is gone, ask for help? There is a part of me that always wants to help others but when I have, I often have difficulty taking care of my own things. This month, I’ve come to some major life decisions and one of them is to handle the money that comes in to me – WISELY.
The people in my life that don’t handle their money wisely will no longer be able to ask for help AFTER they spent their money without thought to the rest of the month or even the rest of the week.
Yes, of course, I’m slowly working toward becoming debt free and not everyone is going to have that mindset. I realize this is my own choice and this isn’t going to be how other people will handle their money or settle their debts. It’s a choice. Actually a lifestyle choice. I think that is the key for me. It’s my life – my bills and my money goals. No one else is going to help me reach them except me.
Tell me – is this an area you struggle with? If so, how have you handled it in the past – how do you handle it now?
Tags: bills, boundaries, budget, choice, debt, debt free, found money, friend, Goals, life, lifestyle, loan, money
