Stupid Mistakes – What is Really Stupid is to NOT Learn From Our Mistakes
What actually is STUPID? Stupid mistakes happen when you knowingly do something that you KNOW will not work out for you in the long run. It is stupid to listen to the advice of others that have made the same mistakes and you believe it won’t turn out the same for you.
It is stupid to think only in the NOW rather than down the road.
It is stupid to keep doing the same thing over and over again thinking you will get different results (also the definition of insanity).
Stupid mistakes is what we are all capable of doing BUT what is REALLY stupid is to not learn from our mistakes.
There are no stupid questions except the unasked question. If you want to know, need to know how to do something – how to understand something to do it better then it is NOT stupid to find the answers. It is stupid to think only in the short term because before you know it – you find yourself well down the road and suddenly, you find yourself in the long term and those decisions can come to haunt you.
Why the focus on STUPID? I got it in my head yesterday that my stupid money mistakes weren’t just about bills or debt but more about how I went about solving my problems. I didn’t think in the long term. I didn’t look outside myself for answers.
I didn’t look for other solutions – instead I pretty much did what a kid does… running headlong into traffic without a thought to what might happen. I wanted fast and easy solutions. I didn’t take the time to look at what had worked in the past and what hadn’t worked at all. I just kept doing the same things over and over again. It didn’t work for me.
The one consistent thing that did happen – time continued to pass and nothing changed. Suddenly (or so it seemed) I’m 45 and lugging around problems (money problems and otherwise) that I was dealing with 7 years ago. Now that is an absolute DRAG.
So – as I thought of my student loans and the choices I made, I came to the decision that it was my lack of discipline, vision and patience that got the better of me. I didn’t want to pay more than the minimum payment. I didn’t want to part with the money to begin with so I did it grudgingly.
I had no concept of debt elimination. I hated thinking of paying on the loans for 10 years.
I couldn’t see the value in knocking out that debt. I was impatient when I did the student loan consolidation which cost me because I didn’t do any research and I even left out one of my student loans.
Remember, you can only consolidate your student loans once.
I simply hated dealing with money, let alone deal with debt or arranging payments. It was alot of avoidance on my part that turned into debt collectors telling me what I should do. Rather than me controlling my money – I felt at the mercy of whoever caught me on the telephone.
These money mistakes were just the beginning because at that time (2000) I made several MAJOR life changing decisions that continue to be part of my TODAY.
Now, I am making my monthly payments on my student loans. I am more in debt to the Department of Education now than I was seven years ago. In fact, if I had stayed on track and simply stayed focused on what I needed to do (instead of continually revamping my life!) my student loans would have hit that 10 year mark in 2006. Yes, last year.
It’s like all that angst back then is a distant memory because I am starting over now.
I can easily laugh and call those mistakes STUPID because they are mine. I thought about it long and hard last night. I am… sure, taking risks, unflappable, persistant, informed, determined to reach my goals. Stupid is as stupid does. I will NOT let myself get so wrapped up in the “what ifs” because I am learning to like this feeling of control.
I control my money, my income. It doesn’t control me. Bill collectors don’t make my money decisions. Loan officers don’t have to live with the consequences of my money choices. I do. I’m going to knock out this debt and start living again.
P.S. The reason you might catch me posting on losing weight, quitting smoking, organizing my home, parenting my children … here on Debt Crunch is because I’m learning that my debt problems really are THINKING problems. The same thinking problems that got me deep into debt also got me messed up in other areas of my life. If it’s part of my life – you may see yourself in some of this too. Please share if you do – let’s get out from under the Debt Crunch together. It will make the ride more fun!
Tammy
Tags: change, debt, decisions, life, money, questions, student loans, stupid, stupid mistakes, thoughts
